


Like a Leaf Blown in on the Breeze

by WolvenStorm



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Character Study, F/F, I don't know if it's really angst, It's just Historia reflecting on things, Light Angst, Loneliness, Oohhh season 4 spoilers btw, cause she's mentioned, like once or twice or every other line, major character death is just Ymir, no beta we die like everyone in aot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-19
Updated: 2021-03-19
Packaged: 2021-03-27 20:34:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,098
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30128460
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WolvenStorm/pseuds/WolvenStorm
Summary: I wish you could be here, Historia thought quietly, thinking of dark hair and freckled smirks.Everything’s so much harder now that you’re gone.Basically, a short oneshot of Historia reflecting on the current situation as she sits outside of her cottage and watches the sunset.
Relationships: Krista Lenz | Historia Reiss/Ymir
Comments: 10
Kudos: 35





	Like a Leaf Blown in on the Breeze

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know, dude, I just wanted to write Yumikuri.
> 
> I'll do them justice soon with an actual fic, I promise. But for now, enjoy this short character study. Which is way shorter than it could have been, but HEY, I wrote this in less than half an hour, so don't blame me please.

_**I have no regrets.** _

_**Or so I’d like to say. But to be honest, I do have one.** _

_**You and I still aren’t married.** _

_**-Ymir** _

Historia stared at the inked signature for another few minutes before folding the letter back up. She had the whole thing memorized by now, but reading it never got old. Every time she did, she could hear Ymir’s voice again, as clearly as if it was the dead girl herself whispering into her ear.

She swallowed thickly and slid the letter back into the front pocket of her dress, forcing herself to put it away before she spiraled into another hole of bitter loneliness and regret. Her gaze slid upwards, focusing instead on the fading light of the setting sun as it slipped below the horizon of the distant trees. The view from the deck of her small cottage was quite lovely, but lonely, too. The only people who knew of her location were a select few in the top ranks of the military. A select few who could be trusted to keep her safe. It was lonely, but that’s how it had to be.

Historia’s hand trailed down from her pocket to her belly, which was now very round after months of pregnancy. It was still hard to believe that she held a child within her, even after all this time. Soon, she would bring another life into the cruel world, one with a crushing amount of responsibilities and obligations. She felt immense regret that the circumstances were what they were, but she was also strangely excited. She’d always wanted a child. Just… not in the current conditions.

_I wish you could be here,_ she thought quietly, thinking of dark hair and freckled smirks. _Everything’s so much harder now that you’re gone._

Thinking about Ymir always made Historia think about the rest of the 104th Cadet Corps, and her grip on her dress tightened. They were in Marley right now, launching a surprise attack on the city of Liberio. All of her friends, fighting and dying while she sat on the porch of a quiet cottage in some corner of the inner walls, reading a scrap of paper over and over again. More than almost anything, she wished to be out there with them, a soldier once more, thinking about nothing but surviving and protecting her friends and country.

She was glad that she’d become queen, of course. She knew that she was the best person for the job, and that she could use her new position to make the changes that she’d always wished for. But sometimes, it was suffocating, and she longed to be free of her duties and responsibility.

It was stressful, too. Historia was confident in her abilities and choices, but she was also scared of messing up. She had more power than anyone else within the walls, and she was terrified of making the wrong choice and getting people killed because of it.

Not that it mattered much, at the moment. She could hardly be considered a queen right now, sitting in isolation in the quiet countryside, away from the rest of her people while her friends fought and died on the other side of the sea. The old government was slowly losing power, too. The people were becoming distrusting, seeds of unrest and discontent sown in the crowds. It was only a matter of time before a revolution was staged.

Historia’s hand returned to her stomach. Whenever she felt powerless or overwhelmed, it helped to be reminded that she was doing something amazing here; she was bringing a person into the world. No matter how awful that world was, it was still life, and the fact that she could create it was astonishing. It was the little things like that that brought hope to the queen, the little things like that that could start to fill the empty void of her heart that Ymir’s love had once occupied.

_Your sacrifice won’t be for nothing,_ Historia thought distantly, a small smile coming to her face. _We’re going to make a better world. For the people within the walls, for the people outside of them, for Eldians everywhere. Your spirit and love will forever live on inside of me, and so I will keep on living to ensure their survival. I’ll teach your name to my child, and you will never be insignificant or forgotten again. I will remember you for as long as I live, and will pass down your story to the generations to come._

She talked to Ymir quite frequently, both in her head and out loud. Sometimes, she could’ve sworn she heard a response carried in on the wind. Although undoubtedly little more than a hallucination, it helped her feel less alone, like her lover was right next to her, watching her as she stumbled through life, waiting until she passed, too, so that she could join her in whatever lay beyond death.

“One day, my love,” Historia whispered, looking out at the trees and mountains beyond her cottage. “Though I still have quite a long time to go before we meet again, I hope.”

There was a time only a few years ago when the young queen had longed for death. She’d gone out of her way to be brave and sacrifice herself for a noble cause, thinking that if she died heroically, people would remember her as a hero. They would think fondly of her, reminisce about her best qualities. Forgive her.

The dead were always easier to forgive.

Historia had hated herself. Growing up neglected and isolated, she’d learned to despise herself and seek the validation of others. She had thought that, perhaps, if she sacrificed herself for a good cause, people would praise her at last.

To be blunt, she had wanted to die. Would seek out any opportunity she could take to somehow make herself worthy, even in death.

She was doing much better now. After reclaiming her name and throne, she’d started to build herself back up again, crafting her own personality and character. Figured out how she wanted to rule.

“And I have you to thank for it, really,” Historia sighed, touching the pocket where Ymir’s letter sat. “So thank you, again.”

A breeze blew past, lifting up her pale golden hair and tossing it around her face. The trees swayed in the distance, filling the air with a quiet rustling sound. As the wind carried the smell of fresh pine past her, Historia could have sworn she heard a voice accompanying it.

_You’re welcome, my love._

**Author's Note:**

> I honestly have serious doubts that anyone actually read this, but if you did, thank you so much!
> 
> I love comments and kudos almost as much as Ymir loves Historia. If you did like it, then please feel free to leave those. <3
> 
> Thanks again, and have a great day!
> 
> (Hope y'all are doing fine after chapter 138 <3)


End file.
